well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
PANTIES FOUND
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