Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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