I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
