I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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