Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She bit a glass in half.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
We smell like vodka and hangover
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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