you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
