come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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