She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
