the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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