I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
