I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
