yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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