At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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