very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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