I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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