somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
