No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
