I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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