is wine microwaveable?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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