I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
