her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
