do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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