She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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