i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
