btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
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I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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