I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize