my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize