Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.

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  (407): Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date. http://tfl.nu/dv8x
  Replies (26) Good night (642) Bad night (4407)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.

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  (215): She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier. http://tfl.nu/gy92
  Replies (25) Good night (685) Bad night (5438)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?

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  (610): I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/9amw
  Replies (18) Good night (4722) Bad night (1144)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.

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  (703): does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/2knl
  Replies (11) Good night (3696) Bad night (1015)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function

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  (201): I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function http://tfl.nu/ad1f
  Replies (9) Good night (2634) Bad night (1113)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK

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  (207): traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK http://tfl.nu/1e7j
  Replies (4) Good night (3158) Bad night (815)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Ecstasy should be its own food group.

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  (316): Ecstasy should be its own food group. http://tfl.nu/46zl
  Replies (5) Good night (1328) Bad night (832)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.

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  (337): You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left. http://tfl.nu/h7ai
  Replies (3) Good night (1677) Bad night (602)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.

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  (207): Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me. http://tfl.nu/clpj
  Replies (10) Good night (1642) Bad night (1072)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..

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  (319): You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer.. http://tfl.nu/i9am
  Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (728)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  Did someone catch you and fuck you?

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  (828): I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes. (1-828): Did someone catch you and fuck you? http://tfl.nu/onw1
  Replies (1) Good night (1136) Bad night (507)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.

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  (806): We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish. http://tfl.nu/et7p
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (481)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll

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  (847): Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll http://tfl.nu/osu5
  Replies (0) Good night (276) Bad night (487)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it

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  (+44): There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it http://tfl.nu/85wu
  Replies (4) Good night (262) Bad night (571)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!

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  (603): Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless! http://tfl.nu/bxxj
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (311)

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