Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie

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  (973): Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie http://tfl.nu/ez65
  Replies (12) Good night (2384) Bad night (624) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him

  (310): View more from California

  its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain

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  (310): I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him (310): its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain http://tfl.nu/r69k
  Replies (11) Good night (2580) Bad night (504)
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  (916): View more from California

  i think i have herpe

  (1-916): View more from California

  just one?

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  (916): i think i have herpe (1-916): just one? http://tfl.nu/e1l6
  Replies (32) Good night (1030) Bad night (4452) Order T-Shirt
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  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt

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  (340): well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt http://tfl.nu/yxfk
  Replies (21) Good night (3293) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.

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  (970): I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it. http://tfl.nu/8hng
  Replies (28) Good night (10247) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I found those 18 whoppers we bought.

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  (785): I found those 18 whoppers we bought. http://tfl.nu/flbc
  Replies (27) Good night (6724) Bad night (1482) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.

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  (206): and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment. http://tfl.nu/jfbz
  Replies (4) Good night (987) Bad night (2515) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.

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  (205): I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that. http://tfl.nu/zu4z
  Replies (9) Good night (1000) Bad night (2283)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.

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  (316): He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed. http://tfl.nu/yb8r
  Replies (5) Good night (2224) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (554): View more from

  No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted

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  (554): No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted http://tfl.nu/praq
  Replies (12) Good night (2144) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent

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  (330): If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent http://tfl.nu/pu74
  Replies (6) Good night (393) Bad night (1099) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.

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  (716): Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking. http://tfl.nu/rcur
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (484)
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  (323): View more from California

  You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five

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  (323): You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five http://tfl.nu/6fgb
  Replies (3) Good night (557) Bad night (280) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving

  (1-818): View more from California

  At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.

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  (818): I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving (1-818): At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it. http://tfl.nu/g80b
  Replies (1) Good night (675) Bad night (202)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  He can pick locks you know

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  That's the reason for the naked stripper

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  (919): Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out (1-919): He can pick locks you know (919): That's the reason for the naked stripper http://tfl.nu/wpbv
  Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (145)

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