a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Randomize
