Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  What are you doing tonight?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.

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  (904): What are you doing tonight? (847): Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life. http://tfl.nu/ilpj
  Replies (15) Good night (803) Bad night (4136)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.

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  (210): Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two. http://tfl.nu/86sn
  Replies (21) Good night (4962) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?

  (1-707): View more from California

  logic in its finest

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  (707): he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i? (1-707): logic in its finest http://tfl.nu/z7qz
  Replies (41) Good night (4698) Bad night (2646)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!

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  (610): I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin! http://tfl.nu/gtgt
  Replies (14) Good night (9280) Bad night (1660)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.

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  (904): Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do. http://tfl.nu/0tan
  Replies (18) Good night (6052) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?

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  (330): Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway? http://tfl.nu/zrwz
  Replies (20) Good night (4388) Bad night (1108)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis

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  (414): I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis http://tfl.nu/ml6e
  Replies (6) Good night (967) Bad night (3216)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.

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  (902): I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother. http://tfl.nu/s7ce
  Replies (7) Good night (4309) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.

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  (480): It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car. http://tfl.nu/gkht
  Replies (3) Good night (2181) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad

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  (214): Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad http://tfl.nu/lcu6
  Replies (4) Good night (1653) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.

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  (218): Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out. http://tfl.nu/tj30
  Replies (5) Good night (833) Bad night (826)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating

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  (216): I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating http://tfl.nu/1tih
  Replies (3) Good night (1082) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield

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  (707): They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield http://tfl.nu/3a5d
  Replies (7) Good night (1531) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.

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  (321): Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning. http://tfl.nu/diz8
  Replies (2) Good night (596) Bad night (237)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.

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  (978): Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken. http://tfl.nu/ufvt
  Replies (6) Good night (606) Bad night (218)

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