During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
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On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
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If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...