Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.

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(207): View more from Maine

he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.

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19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Read it at the TFLN blog
(716): View more from New York

Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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(701): View more from North Dakota

the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'

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(419): View more from Ohio

please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700

(1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

Why are you like this.

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