Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.