There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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