dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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