i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
