please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
