In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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