After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.