im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
