Dual....:-)
I faked an abortion last night.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
