you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
