I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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