I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize