i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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