Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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