fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
