So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize