Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
