dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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