it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
