Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
