i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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