I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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