I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
