its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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