im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
