You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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