Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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