she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I am available for nakedness
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
