Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
