so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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