dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
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I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
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So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize