just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The power of my boobs compel you
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize