Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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