maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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