True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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