I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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