my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
