I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
