Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
