3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
