ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
